Harry Potter commented on Draco Malfoy's status
by ninalyta
Summary: TRANSLATION! Internet at Hogwarts, wizards on Facebook... But why does everyone want to post on Draco's wall?
1. Chapter 1

**Tit****le**** : **Harry Potter commented on Draco Malfoy's status (titre original : « Harry Potter a commenté le statut de Draco Malfoy »)

**Author's disclaimer ****:**_All the characters are mine, I'm super rich and super famous, and my hair is blond._ No, seriously, nothing is mine, I am dead broke, not famous at all and my hair is brown. A myth collapses but don't cry.

**Translator's ****disclaimer** : this is a translation. The original story is owned by Neo-Mirage.

**Rating :**M, for the language, I think.

**Genre :** Humor/Romance (more Humor than Romance, truth to be said, but also Romance, a little)

**Pairing**** :** Harry/Draco, what else ?

**Author's n****ote :** This is my first story (but can we really call this a story? Let's just say it's a horribly wicked joke in the « I'm insane and I have an overflowing imagination » style) and I was under drugs' influences when I wrote it. _I'm not joking_. I had just smoked many cigarettes that a friend sold me and that's the kind of thing that make you high so I started to write… this **(****drug is bad, DON'T USE DRUGS****).**

To be more precise, I imagined a Hogwarts where wizards would have internet and especially Facebook (yeah « a horribly wicked joke » was just a euphemism)... And here is what was born!

Enjoy the story!

* * *

Draco Malfoy is working in his potion test and says to Blaise Zabini that he can put his advices where he thinks.

(April 23 at 6:38pm)

Harry Potter : We have a test in Potions ? Why didn't you told me anything earlier?

(April 23 at 6:42pm)

Draco Malfoy : Oh Merlin, Potter ! Why would I have told you about that ? (and don't use so many question marks. It's like I'm hearing your shrill voice directly in my ears)

(April 23 at 6:45pm)

Harry Potter : Thanks a lot! I thought you knew how much time I needed just to prepare myself at the very thought of having a test in Potions. And my voice is NOT shrill!

(April 23 at 6:47pm)

Hermione Granger : Harry, I can't believe it! Not only did you not learn your lessons, but you are still in this website when you should be catching up your retard!

(April 23 at 6:56pm)

Draco Malfoy : Granger, may I know just who allowed you to post on my wall ?

(April 23 at 7:02pm)

Harry Potter : Well, Hermione, didn't you notice that you are also on this website… And Draco, obviously, you were the one that allowed her to post on your wall when you accepted her as your friend. (What about Zabini's advices?)

(April 23 at 7:06pm)

Hermione Granger : I had to look at something for my homework in Arithmancy, which have nothing to do with it. Well then, from now on, I'm off. Harry, don't think I will let you get away with it, I'll question you later about tomorrow's test!

(April 23 at 7:10pm)

Draco Malfoy : Remember that you forced me to do so. And even if it's absolutely not your business, Blaise seems interested by your best friend's, alias Miss-know-it-all, organization, and he tried to make me join the S.P.I.T or something like that. I think I never heard of something as stupid in my entire life. Maybe excepted the day you asked Flitwick to hold your wrist to help you executing your charm when he isn't even as tall as your waist.

(April 23 at 7:15pm)

Harry Potter : When will you stop to bring that back? I was tired that day and you should know perfectly since it was your fault. By the way, Hermione's organization is called the S.P.E.W… And I think Zabini is right. You should accept. Your support would be very effective.

(April 23 at 7:19pm)

Blaise Zabini : Hope you are ready for a good teasing, Drake. You should listen to your boyfriend more often you know.

(April 23 at 7:27pm)

Draco Malfoy : Potter is not my boyfriend.

(April 23 at 7:31pm)

Blaise Zabini : Who will believe that? I saw you earlier near the lake when I passed by the window, you had your hand in his pants.

(April 23 at 7:34pm)

Harry Potter : What ? Draco, you told me there was no one else!

(April 23 at 7:35pm)

Draco Malfoy : How could I know that he would be there? Moreover you must have seen wrong Blaise. Potter was attacked by a wasp and I felt I had to help him. I really can't see where the problem is.

(April 23 at 7:38pm)

Blaise Zabini : I love when you refuse to face up what is obvious. You have an ability to deny the evidence rather impressive for a seventeen year-old you know.

(April 23 at 7:42pm)

Draco Malfoy : Forget it Blaise, I won't even note down your childish reflexion. Potter and I know where the truth is.

(April 23 at 7:43pm)

Blaise Zabini : Somewhere between Potter's legs, isn't it ? Ha ha ha, see you in the Great Hall for dinner, Drake !

(April 23 at 7:44pm)

Draco Malfoy : He is so annoying !

(April 23 at 7:47pm)

Harry Potter : Don't worry about him Draco, he is not worthy enough for that. Hey wouldn't you rather want to come search the truth?

(April 23 at 7:50pm)

Draco Malfoy : …

(April 23 at 7:56pm)

* * *

Well… I told you. I just hope that you liked the story (even a little)… To tell the truth, I'm stressing a little. Should I continue this story or not?

Kisssses


	2. Chapter 2

**Title : **Harry Potter commented on Draco Malfoy's status (titre original : « Harry Potter a commenté le statut de Draco Malfoy »)

**Author's disclaimer : **_All the characters are mine, I'm super rich and super famous, and my hair is blond._ No, seriously, nothing is mine, I am dead broke, not famous at all and my hair is brown. A myth collapses but don't cry.

**Translator's disclaimer** : this is a translation. The original story is owned by Neo-Mirage.

**Rating : **M, for the language, I think.

**Genre :** Humor/Romance (more Humor than Romance, truth to be said, but also Romance, a little)

**Pairing :** Harry/Draco, what else ?

Enjoy !

* * *

Harry Potter to Draco Malfoy : I hate you.

(1st May at 2:17pm)

.

Draco Malfoy : Don't be a brat. You have no reason to hate me, and you know that you don't believe in a word of what you said.

(1st May at 2:20pm)

.

Harry Potter : Don't ever talk to me again. Besides, I wonder… Should I just erase you from my friends' list?

(1st May at 2:22pm)

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Draco Malfoy : What are you ? An actor ?

(1st May at 2:23pm)

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Ron Weasley : W

(1st May at 2:26pm)

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Ron Weasley : Why did Harry say that he hate you Malfoy ?

(1st May at 2 :28pm)

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Draco Malfoy : Because he loves creating problems where there is none, of course. And you should learn how to use a keyboard Weasel. Oh, and I almost forgot : GET OFF MY WALL !

(1st May at 2:32pm)

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Pansy Parkinson : You are so violent Draco… Well, what happened with Potty ?

(1st May at 2:35pm)

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Hermione Granger : Draco, Harry is sulking since this morning. You should really apologize, although I don't know what you did to him.

(1st May at 2:39pm)

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Harry Potter : It is that Draco doesn't want to assume his responsibilities. And I hate him.

(1st May at 2:42pm)

.

Pansy Parkinson : …

(1st May at 2:43pm)

.

Hermione Granger : …

(1st May at 2:44pm)

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Ron Weasley : Harry, do ya want me to hit him ?

(1st May at 2:47pm)

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Draco Malfoy : I'm still here Weasley, and I can read what you write. As for the others, mind your owns business.

(1st May at 2:49pm)

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Hermione Granger : Ron ! Draco is Harry's boyfriend, you can't hit him ! And don't forget that violence is never the key to your problems.

(1st May at 2:51pm)

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Draco Malfoy : Potter is not my boyfriend.

(1st May at 2:54pm)

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Harry Potter : Draco is not my boyfriend.

(1st May at 2:54pm)

.

Pansy Parkinson : You are both pathetic ! All Hogwarts know that you are going out together!

(1st May at 2:57pm)

.

Harry Potter : See ! Your excuse is stupid Draco. Actually, YOU are stupid.

(1st May at 2:58pm)

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Draco Malfoy : I am stupid ? YOU are stupid, and trivial, and superficial !

(1st May at 3:00pm)

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Blaise Zabini : For Merlin's sake, what's wrong with you? Did you forget that it's a public website ?

(1st May at 3:03pm)

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Harry Potter : Draco refuses that we become a couple on Facebook.

(1st May at 3:05pm)

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Blaise Zabini : …

(1st May at 3:06pm)

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Hermione Granger : …

(1st May at 3:07pm)

.

Ron Weasley : …

(1st May at 3:08pm)

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Pansy Parkinson : …

(1st May at 3:09pm)

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Draco Malfoy : Don't you have anything else to do ? I hate you all !

(1st May at 3:03pm)

.

* * *

Translator's note : so, how do you find this story?

I'm french and not a native english speaker so it's a little difficult to translate sometimes so please let me know if I made mistakes :)

And I hope you enjoyed this story as did when I read it =)


	3. Chapter 3

**Title : **Harry Potter commented on Draco Malfoy's status (titre original : « Harry Potter a commenté le statut de Draco Malfoy »)

**Author's disclaimer : **_All the characters are mine, I'm super rich and super famous, and my hair is blond._ No, seriously, nothing is mine, I am dead broke, not famous at all and my hair is brown. A myth collapses but don't cry.

**Translator's disclaimer** : this is a translation. The original story is owned by Neo-Mirage.

**Rating : **M, for the language, I think.

**Genre :** Humor/Romance (more Humor than Romance, truth to be said, but also Romance, a little)

**Pairing :** Harry/Draco, what else ?

Enjoy !

* * *

Harry Potter and his imaginary boyfriend…

(May 7th at 10:34am)

.

Draco Malfoy : Very witty Potter, really.

(May 7th at 10:38am)

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Harry Potter : Excuse me, do we know each other ? I don't remember having a "Draco Malfoy" among my acquaintances.

(May 7th at 10 :40am)

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Draco Malfoy : Stop that right now Potter ! You know very much I can't stand being ignored !

(May 7th at 10:41am)

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Draco Malfoy : POTTER !

(May 7th at 10 :57am)

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Harry Potter : Yeah yeah… I thought what you couldn't stand was being seen with me… Isn't it what you told me the other day ?

(May 7th at 11:00am)

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Draco Malfoy : What I told you exactly was that I didn't want everyone looking at us with stupid wide eyes when we are together.

(May 7th at 11:03am)

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Harry Potter : Don't take me for a fool Malfoy. You flatly refuse to even look at me when we meet in the hallways. I will stay with my imaginary boyfriend and you, you will stay with your fabulous dignity okay? That's the best for everyone.

(May 7th at 11:05am)

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Draco Malfoy : Oh no, Potter, that won't happen like that at all ! I know what you are trying to do with your little speech, but that won't work !

(May 7th at 11:07am)

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Harry Potter : Of course, we can still talk from time to time, if you want, but I think that's all we could expect from our relationship from now on. You should ask Dumbledore to change the password of your room to keep me from coming, I won't take it the wrong way.

(May 7th at 11 :10am)

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Draco Malfoy : I'm flinty, give up.

(May 7th at 11:11am)

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Harry Potter : I know, that will be hard for us both at the beginning but you will get over it Malfoy. I know you can do it. You can even replace me with a Slytherin girl, who would probably be better for you than me. As for me… I will go admiring the stars from the Astronomy tower, and, who knows, maybe, a morning, I won't be coming down…

(May 7th at 11 :14am)

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Draco Malfoy : Okay stop that! You win! I am SORRY! Happy ?

(May 7th at 11:15am)

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Harry Potter : Pretty much ! Do you eat with the Gryffindors for today's lunch?

(May 7th at 11:16am)

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Draco Malfoy : Don't try your luck Potter. But you may come with me until my table.

(May 7th at 11:18am)

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Ron Weasley : Excuse me, can I puke ?

(May 7th at 11 :25am)

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Parvati Patil : You really are both so cute !

(May 7th at 11:27am)

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Blaise Zabini : When Potter started talking about going out with a Slytherin girl, I knew it was in the pocket. You owe me ten galleons Granger!

(May 7th at 11:29am)

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Hermione Granger : No need to be so sufficient ! You will get it before the night.

(May 7th at 11:31am)

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Draco Malfoy : I knew it… It was too great no one commented yet.

(May 7th at 11:33am)

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Harry Potter : Yeah…

(May 7th at 11:34am)

* * *

Hi everyone ! I'm really really sorry for all that waiting but I am a university student and this semester was really hard so I didn't have time to translate any new chapter… I hope you will forgive me (*kitty eyes*).

By the way I'm currently looking for a beta because it's harder than I thought to write in a foreign language (I'm French). I will soon reupload these chapters (I will try to do it in the following weeks as soon as I find a beta) so that they will be correctly done… If you are interested and free please send me a message.


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